i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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