he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Do vagina's smell?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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