Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
