I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
