what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
