Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
NoShamevember. You game?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
