Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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