You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
