We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
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