i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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