Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
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