yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
