We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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