legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
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