your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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