Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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