We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
