The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize