we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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