i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
