I can text with my tongue
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
