so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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