I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
