I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Text me some of your sweat
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Randomize