it wasn't lemon gatorade
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Who wears a wallet chain?!
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
