Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Randomize
