If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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