so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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