there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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