Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
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Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
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It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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