just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Sorry about my life...
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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