You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
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We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
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literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning