I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.