Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.