i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize