We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?