You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
