just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
