I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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