it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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