i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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