in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
