I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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