Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
