38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.