if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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