Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
