Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Randomize
