Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Randomize
