I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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