You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize