so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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