This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
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