Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
