All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
