He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize