His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
