Texts From Last Night

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  (573): View more from Missouri

  Small penises have feelings too.

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  (573): Small penises have feelings too. http://tfl.nu/ikhv
  Replies (68) Good night (699) Bad night (3672) Order T-Shirt
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.

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  (225): Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation. http://tfl.nu/om4a
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"

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  (517): I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice" http://tfl.nu/f86r
  Replies (39) Good night (839) Bad night (6102) Order T-Shirt
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  (516): View more from New York

  All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.

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  (516): All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job. http://tfl.nu/ssdv
  Replies (8) Good night (636) Bad night (3458) Order T-Shirt
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?

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  (937): Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low? http://tfl.nu/96gj
  Replies (56) Good night (3054) Bad night (14203) Order T-Shirt
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex

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  (816): is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex http://tfl.nu/zw16
  Replies (7) Good night (4571) Bad night (1011)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.

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  (+44): You are the patron saint of my drinking problem. http://tfl.nu/rquk
  Replies (10) Good night (4113) Bad night (861) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.

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  (303): When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over. http://tfl.nu/ei9w
  Replies (2) Good night (527) Bad night (1152) Order T-Shirt
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.

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  (484): announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention. http://tfl.nu/v327
  Replies (11) Good night (1977) Bad night (362) Order T-Shirt
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?

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  (423): There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night? http://tfl.nu/kr4w
  Replies (2) Good night (507) Bad night (1082) Order T-Shirt
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here

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  (859): Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here http://tfl.nu/0vaz
  Replies (8) Good night (538) Bad night (1269) Order T-Shirt
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  (845): View more from New York

  I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN

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  (845): I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN http://tfl.nu/jodt
  Replies (8) Good night (662) Bad night (323) Order T-Shirt
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator

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  (701): You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator http://tfl.nu/12pr
  Replies (3) Good night (569) Bad night (287) Order T-Shirt
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.

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  (+44): I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten. http://tfl.nu/hxkk
  Replies (1) Good night (1090) Bad night (283)
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  (641): View more from Iowa

  He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?

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  (641): He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy? http://tfl.nu/tf1s
  Replies (2) Good night (308) Bad night (411) Order T-Shirt

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