I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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