what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
