when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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